


Cold Water

by rebiTV



Series: Hotel Hopping [5]
Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Dream Sequence, M/M, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Tim doesn't know how to process emotions, there's like a weird poem in this one idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-20 02:03:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19984240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebiTV/pseuds/rebiTV
Summary: Tim has a dream and gets a clue. Jay gets banned from coffee.





	Cold Water

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this took so long to get out! This was supposed to be really short, but it kinda got away from me. I'm pretty happy with it though! hope y'all like :)

At 1:30 AM, Tim’s mind wandered to the sleeping arrangements that he and Jay had settled into. They had started sharing the bed after that first night several weeks ago, when Jay had asked out of fear. Now it was sort of routine. They didn’t really _talk_ about it, but they stopped buying doubles, and sharing seemed to help both of them sleep. At this point, it just felt natural to listen to Jay’s steady breathing as he drifted off. 

They had been staying in the same hotel for the past couple of days, trying to lay low. They would probably move soon, there was a nervous tension in the air, and he was sure Jay could feel it too. 

They could worry about that tomorrow, however. 

Tim rubbed his eyes. It was getting late. He was about to step out for a smoke, before he saw Jay out of the corner of his eye. He was curled into the uncomfortable hotel chair, his back making an arch that would probably give him spine problems later. He was typing one handed, while his other hand fiddled with the- 

“Jay. Absolutely not.” Tim said as he took the coffee pot out of his hands. Jay made a sound of protest, pouting spectacularly. “I’m not going through this again.” 

Jay rolled his eyes, and Tim refused to find it endearing.

“It’s not even that late.” Jay said. “I’m an adult, I can drink coffee if I want to.” 

“Not while we’re sharing a room you can’t. You’ve put me through enough. Besides, it’s probably best if we leave the editing for tomorrow anyway, staring at that screen can’t be good for your eyes.”

“Just let me finish this.”

“You look like you’re about to fall asleep on your keyboard.”

“Only because you won’t give me the coffee pot.”

Tim scoffed, still holding the offending item. His eyes had humor as he looked at Jay.

“Look, I’m going to go out for a smoke. You can stay up all night if you want, but no coffee. For both of our sakes.” Tim said, his lips edging on a smile.

Jay stuck his tongue out at him. “I don’t need coffee to stay awake.” 

“Of course.” Tim responded. “Well I’m gonna check out the parking lot scenery. Good luck with the editing.”

Tim waved a hand before stepping out onto the small hotel balcony, closing the door behind him. He looked down at the coffee pot and chuckled, its glass black in the night. It was dark out, and cool, the parking lot bathed in the gray-blues of night. He lit his cigarette, letting the smoke furl out into the sky like a misty banner. It was quiet except for the sound of crickets chirping. 

With no distractions, no noise, there was nothing to keep Tim’s mind from wandering to the secret he was keeping from Jay. The tape was back at his house now, but it might as well be in his pocket for how much his brain was stuck on it. He was going to tell Jay. He had to. And anyway, it’s not like Jay hadn’t kept anything from him, he’d understand. Probably. His fingers twitched around his cigarette, burned to the stub now. This was so fucking complicated. He rubbed his hands over his face as he reached for another cigarette. It felt like his mind was tugging him in a million different directions. He wanted to run back in and tell Jay everything. He wanted to drive back to his house and destroy the damn thing. He wanted to never mention it again, let the secret ferment into guilt until it was absorbed into the blob of self-loathing that lived at the back of his brain. He wanted this fucking road trip to be over.

But there was nothing he could do now but wait in cheap hotels for something to happen, with a man he was quickly realising he cared about. What a shitty way to make a friend, Tim thought cynically.

He took a deep breath, figuring he should probably head back inside. His smoke break hadn’t really helped clear his head, but he could only stay out here for so long. He stubbed out his cigarette on the railing and looked out once more to the stagnant night before he stepped back inside. 

He tossed his cigarette butts into an old cup, trying not to think of the way Brian used to get on him for leaving them stomped out on the ground. He set the coffee pot back on the desk, feeling worse than before he went out.

He huffed, turned, and noticed Jay had fallen asleep on the desk. The open computer cast a strange light on his features. His breaths were even, his head cradled in his arms. He looked… not peaceful, really but. Calm. It was... strange, almost comforting, to see him sans nervous energy for once.

Seeing him like that made him feel… Well. It made him feel a lot of things. Guilt, for one; his secret seemed all the more unforgivable when he looked at Jay’s trusting and vulnerable face, but also a sort of… peace. Like someone had doused him with cool water in the midst overheating. The contrasting emotions made a strange cocktail, and Tim looked away.

A second later he put his hand on Jay’s shoulder and shook him lightly. Jay shifted, burying his face deeper into his arms, before he blearily gazed up at Tim. 

“Did I fall asleep?” Jay asked, rubbing his eyes. The light of the computer made them look like reflections of a stormy sky. 

“Yeah. guess you really did need coffee, huh?” Tim said, leaning against the counter.

Jay glared at him, failing spectacularly at looking unamused. 

“I was just, hmfp… resting my eyes.” Jay said, scrunching up his face. There’s and edge of humor buried in his exhausted voice. 

“You should rest the rest of you.” Tim replied. “It’s…” he squinted at the alarm clock, “2:04 AM.”

Jay looked forlornly at his computer, before he finally got up out of his chair and stretched. His back made several alarming noises.

“I guess you’re right.” He admits, voice thick. His arms swung down aimlessly. He glanced back at Tim before falling on the bed in a heap, the mattress creaking in complaint. 

Tim breathed out a laugh and closed Jay’s computer. The night was complete, the light of the laptop no longer disrupting it. Jay’s legs were curled up around him, the blanket hardly covering him. He hadn’t stopped to change out of his day clothes.

For a second Tim just looked at him, his form blurry in the dark. He exhaled, profoundly unsatisfied. It didn’t matter. Any churning guilt or doubt would have to be dealt with tomorrow.

(Always tomorrow- it felt like. It’s going to catch up to me eventually, Tim thought.)

Tim laid on the bed, frustrated- trying to shut his eyes around any lingering dread. He could hear Jay breathing next to him. In, out. Steady. Alive. Lied to, paranoid, traumatized, and alive. Tim tried to focus on just that- _he’s alive, he’s alive, he’s here-_ tried to think of nothing else. 

It didn’t work entirely, but it worked enough, and Tim fell into an uneasy sleep.

***** 

_He’s stuck- he’s_ **_stuck, goddammit-_ ** _he can’t_ **_even scream_ ** _, can’t_ **_say anything_ ** _the_

**_B_ _la_ _ck_ **

**_O_** _**o** z_ **_e_ **

_Is_ **_everywhere he’s_ **

**_Sinking_ **

**_In_ **

**_To_ **

**_It._ **

**_He looks wildly,_ **

**_Trying_ **

**_To find a source_ **

**_He’s in something like a bed - or a bed frame - it’s filled -_ **

**_God it’s everywhere_ **

**_With blackness_ **

**_Like living shadow_ **

**_Grasping - covering -_ **

**_He can’t_ **

**_Can’t_ **

**_Breath._ **

**_Fuck I can’t-_ **

**There’s som** eone-

Here. 

_He looks_

_He hears_

_Someone?_

_He turns_ his head.

_It’s_ Jay. 

He’s peering at him, his face h _alf_ in th _e oo_ ze _._

_He’s just looking at him,_

_Eyes a steady gray._

_His face dimples_

_And he smiles_

_Strangely._

“Are you okay Tim?”

_He asks._

_Tim looks at him_

_His breath bubbling painfully in his chest._

“I don’t think so.” Ti _m responds, his voice rasping a high octave._

_Jay lo_ oks at him strangely again, still smiling. 

Suddenly he moves, the **_black_ **splashing around him, and Tim startles. 

“It’s okay Tim. Don’t worry. I’m right here.”

Jay is

Looking down at him now,

On his hands and knees.

His eyes are _shining._

He lifts his hand 

Slick with bla _ckness_

And places it on Tim’s chest. 

Tim looks down at the hand, before looking up at Jay again

He’s smiling at him, comforting, almost indulgent. 

“We’re okay.”

“Ah.”

Tim takes a deep breath, and realizes that Jay’s hand is slowly sinking into his chest. 

Tim looks down at it, completely unalarmed. 

He can feel his fingers against his ribs, brushing against his lungs, his heart.

It’s hypnotizing, Jay’s hand submerged in his chest like it was made of water, his fingers closing against the innermost parts of him. 

“Tim.”

Tim looks up, and Jay’s face is suddenly closer. Inches away. 

Tim inhales sharply.

“Jay.” 

He feels breathless, helpless, and so, so safe. 

Jay moves closer still, and Tim can feel his eyes on him, can feel his breath on his face, can feel his lips-

****

Tim woke up, his breath crashing back into him.

Jay was lying on him, his breath tickling his neck. 

It was pitch black, 4:05 AM, and Tim knew that he was in love with Jay.

**Author's Note:**

> *Tim voice* Fuck.


End file.
